Dating walking wounded
Dating walking wounded
When you’re a player in the dating game, the phone holds thrills and chills undreamed of by noncombatants, The answering machine is a mixed blessing.Owning one frees you from self-imposed house arrest (although not from making a spectacle of yourself by calling in to check your messages every fifteen minutes).
Finally, it’s important to keep in mind that the difficulties of dating do not go on forever.
Here is how Bruce Feirstein realized that nice guys sleep alone: he was dating a woman who said to him: “I love you.
I need you, I want to be with you, but I have dates for the next two weeks.” Enlightenment was followed in short order by a book contract.
Once you’ve classified your date, it’s time to consider a pre-relationship agreement.
Feirstein suggests that the following areas be addressed: Full Disclosure: “At the commencement of said relationship (colloquially referred to as the ’first date’ or ’fix-up’), each party agrees to fully disclose any current marriages, dependent children, bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social diseases, strange political affiliations, or currently reference to an old boyfriend: ’We date.’ (I sleep with Murray occasionally.) ’We have an understanding.’ (I want to sleep with Murray all the time, but he wants to fool around.) ’We’re about to break up.’ (Murray and I still sleep together, and I’m out testing the waters-but I’ll probably sleep with you just to make Murray jealous.) ’I’m best friends with my ex.’ (Murray and I still sleep together when I’m horny.)” Feirstein provides other, assorted useful information, too: it’s a good idea to pay close attention to how your date treats waiters; in six months, that’s exactly the way they’re going to be treating you. ’” Feirstein’s observations about sex are in tune with the retro-conservative Eighties: he thinks that casual sex only makes for casual enemies.
’” Although all in all, Nice Guys Sleep Alone does a good job of exploring the dating terrain, there are a couple of topics that Feir-stein failed to cover.
The radically different ways in which men and women approach preparing for a big date, for instance.The Walking Wounded (Stage One) always have “new contacts” that cause them to blink back tears continuously at the memory of the last bad relationship or marriage, which they can neither learn from nor get over.At dinner, vodka serves as their appetizer, entree, and dessert.The odds of starting a relationship with one of The Walking Wounded (Stage One) are great-as long as you’re totally wrong for them.Give them a few years and a certain Siberian bitterness will set in, turning them into The Walking Wounded (Stage Two). As long as you can keep introducing the Power Dater to useful business or social contacts, all is well, but when your stock drops, you’re dropped.A previous marriage is a good sign because “after all those years on the open range, anybody who hasn’t been married or hasn’t had at least one long-term serious relationship by the time they’re thirty-six isn’t going to adjust well to domestic captivity.” The sign of true romantic obsession is “reading their horoscopes in Town & Country, praying it’ll say ’FOOL! Accordingly, he takes a dim view of sex on the first date: “Sleeping with somebody changes everything.