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Because without kink, I would not have met all of the amazing people I now know in the community, or felt the joy and the high of a scene with play partner, or the deep connection of D/s.So I would say this: if you know you are kinky, don’t waste your time getting into a relationship with a vanilla person.
Now, that isn’t to say you can’t go on some dates with people who aren’t overtly kinky.
Vanilla people cannot be made kinky, just as kinky cannot be made vanilla.
And so when a kinky person and a vanilla person date (and maybe even fall in love), it can never end well.
They might need some encouragement to “awaken” their kink.
I do think that is pretty rare in western culture now though – given the massive publicity and exposure that BDSM has received in recent times. And ultimately, no one but you knows the ins and outs of your situation and so I can’t tell you definitively what is right for you.
But with respect to BDSM, there was always a point after which the novelty wore off and they conceded that they just weren’t really that into it. When it comes to BDSM, I love every letter of the acronym.
And since joining the kinky community, I have met hundreds of kinky people in LA and all over the world.In fact, they were quite sexual and adventurous in their own way.They were up for trying new things, playing with some toys and trying out experiences.But don’t beat around the bush, and don’t hide that it’s an important factor for you in dating.One caveat is that it is possible that you might meet someone who is kinky but hasn’t discovered that side of themselves yet.It covers everything from how to get started to proper profile and messaging etiquette in today’s online dating world.