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Part of the thrill of new relationship energy is the novelty of getting to know one another; there are always new and intriguing layers to uncover when you’re just starting out as a couple.
Suddenly you’re not having sex like you used to and despite what the advice column cartels will tell you, no amount of offering to do the dishes or help out with the laundry is going to bring back that mad intensity that you had at the very beginning.
While having alone time – even separate vacations – can be important for maintaining a happy relationship, what I’m talking about is Interruption can be a powerful technique, especially for reviving and maintaining the spark of passion in your life.
By taking a break from one another, you’re disrupting the expected pattern of your routine.
One of the hardest things that people face over the course of a long-term relationship is that the initial spark – what many in the polyamory community call “new relationship energy” – fades.
It’s an entirely natural part of settling into a relationship; the initial honeymoon period fades and what was intense and exciting becomes calmer and placid.
However, adding a new female rat instantly revived the male, who would proceed to immediately mate with the new female.
Subsequent experiments found that the Coolidge effect was present in females as well; introducing a new male into the mix would cause the female to have renewed interest in sex.There’s an apocryphal story about President Coolidge and his wife visiting an experimental government farm that specialized in developing new approaches to efficiency. Coolidge were taken on separate tours, and when Mrs. ” “Oh no,” said the guide, “it’s a different hen every time.” “Please tell that to Mrs. It’s an old joke but one with a kernel of truth in it: mammals have an instinctual need for novelty when it comes to sex.Coolidge came to the chicken yard, she noticed that the rooster was vigorously mating with the hens. Male rats, after having mated with the receptive females housed with it will show a decreased interest in sex, even when the females are still interested.When a male ape believes that his mate has had sex with another male, he’ll have an even more intense orgasm with a greater volume of ejaculate in an attempt to flush out the competitor’s sperm and replace it with his own.Of course, open relationships and polyamory aren’t for everyone, nor are they inherently any better or worse than traditional monogamy.This doesn’t mean going out and making out with a stranger and coming back to your snugglebunny to actually get the payoff, just that you build up your sexual tension and arousal elsewhere.