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“Like two or three generations past, this way you’re not making a vintage statement, but also you’re not trying to keep up with the latest technology.”Sure, maybe it seems slightly superficial to end a relationship over a TV or a cell phone.
Last week, over tea in London, I posed this question to two of my friends, “Calvin,” a 28-year-old art director, and “Jane,” a 33-year-old TV exec (both fake names).
The focus of this workshop is to not give a fuck about what the patriarchy/capitalism/white supremacy/heteronormativity expects women to give a fuck about.
This totally varies and is unique to every women, but some examples are: competing with other women, being obsessed with my appearance, supporting white supremacy, acquiescing to capitalism, staying silent about sexual assault, sexual harassment and gender bias, protecting abusers and disempowering other women.
Last year, I was dating a guy—I’ll call him Ben—who had an approach to social media that I just couldn’t wrap my head around.
Basically, Ben used Instagram as a way of earnestly updating his friends about what was going on in his life. For instance, he’d Instagram himself in the kitchen, smiling with a bunch of vegetables, with the caption “About to cook a stew! I, on the other hand, am more normal: I use social media as a way of tricking strangers into thinking my life is more interesting than it actually is, by means of ironic selfies at relevant social events, paired with vague captions that are meant to be interpreted as inside jokes but actually mean nothing.
“He spends his life looking for the next frame,” Jane told me.
“Our life has become centered around social events that he thinks will be Instagrammable—or ‘gramorous,’ as he likes to say.”According to Jane, her boyfriend’s obsession with social media has become a barrier between them.
I was visiting my parents upstate for the weekend, and was surprised to admit that I missed the writer.
I decided to go out on a limb, into uncharted emotional territory, and send him an “I miss you” text.
“I haven’t reached the point where I won’t date someone who has a bad phone, but I don’t know . Like those people whose TVs are curved—that’s embarrassing.” I asked him what sort of TV is not embarrassing.
“Your TV should be old but not too old,” he explained.
So this one time, Ben convinced me to spend a day at the beach.